Saturday, August 4, 2007

Walking on a Lonely Road



There was a girl. There was a guy. But no, they didn't love each other. Neither did they hate each other. Neither were they related in any manner, or maybe they were..by the strings of loneliness.

On a charming rainy day, the girl was walking down a long, empty road full of houses. She was accompanied by the sounds of a couple fighting somewhere, a boy sitting in his backyard proposing to a girl on the phone, and a teenager enjoying noise in the form of loud music.
The girl was too engrossed in her own thoughts. She was reminiscing her childhood years.
After a few minutes, she started crying. And in a trice, it rained. She was relieved as no one would be able to see her distress. But soon after she realised that she was walking on a lonely road and no one except her would be able to see her distress. It poured more..but not from the sky, from the girl's eyes.

She walked and walked and walked. Just to meet more sadness, emptiness, hollowness, and more closed doors. Until she met the boy. The boy was two houses far from the girl. The boy was laughing on something. He looked happy. The girl thought he must be enjoying the rain. The boy saw the girl, he saw the tears. He saw her loneliness. He came up to her and smiled. And at that moment, the girl saw his tears.
The girl smiled too. The girl said thank you. The boy didn't say anything. He erased her tears and walked away.







10 comments:

  1. mm..kute..but..not real..u wish dys happens but d oposite hapens..
    reality suks
    i liked ye writin tho
    it kinna tchd
    in real u walk a lifetym on a lonely rod no1 is dea .. eva..its jus v n our tears..n v end up lookin at dys wrld coldly n blurred thru our tears

    nice work
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. lonely....well...reminds me of my life..
    here's a poem 2 xpress how i feel -

    Little do i know what salvation is,
    I look so far , I dont know where it extends.
    I dont know where to find a home for my soul,
    I am alone , I have no friend.

    Now I lay on my bed and listen closely,
    I try to guess , but I think I know.
    Clouds of sadness are gathering,
    The wind of sorrow is gonna blow.

    I see these people on the street,
    Running around in their automobiles.
    They are too busy , they have no time,
    Their hearts are broken which no one can heal.

    I seek someone to share my thoughts,
    I am locked here , I have no key.
    I hear a voice from my lonely soul,
    I want to die , please set me free.

    ReplyDelete
  3. its verrry touching...well written!
    does'nt it feel verry strange when someone unknown to u comes up and wipes off ur tears?? and yaa such things do happen!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. you have got the imagination ... a you tried to create an imagery but you seriously need to tone up your expression. like erasing tears is wrong, it is wiping tears. and how come one can see the tears when it is pouring so hard.. you basically tried to express the hidden humanity among us, that is love and compassion for a stranger, but using rain seemed too much. I hope you dont mind the comments and have a relook at the write-up
    good luck
    Jupinderjit Singh

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi

    I am a fellow blogger. I blog on creativebazaar.wordpress.com, so do drop in.

    I like the way you have presented the mood, the climate and the sounds. The emotion however is a little disjointed. I mean I did not feel touched or I didnt feel the words communicated the pain or the loneliness the way you wanted to.

    Please pardon if I am taking too much of a liberty but I though that you might want to hear an honest feedback. I think you could try and make your future posts more expressive. I am learning everyday too.

    Please do let me know what you think of my blog: creativebazaar.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. wow!such a touching 'short nd sweet' story!

    ReplyDelete
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